What should I do if my future wife hates my dog?
MrWndw asked:
My future wife hates to have a dog any where around her. She’s not afraid of them but she just dislikes them anywhere near her personal space. I have had my daschund for 4 years and she is an inside dog since I live in an apartment. She agrees that my dog is the sweetest and least annoying she has ever been around but still she gets anxious and nervous. We have talked seriously about getting married and I’ve compromised to let the dog stay outside most of the time when we get married. But she is not willing to bend a bit. She said that she wouldn’t even like my dog sitting in my lap for 10 minutes in the evening while I watch TV. She says that she is dead set on letting the dog anywhere near the inside of the house. How can I deal with my future wife hating the dog that I love as a child? The dog is housebroken with unbelievable manners. What should I do? I love my dog like a child.
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My future wife hates to have a dog any where around her. She’s not afraid of them but she just dislikes them anywhere near her personal space. I have had my daschund for 4 years and she is an inside dog since I live in an apartment. She agrees that my dog is the sweetest and least annoying she has ever been around but still she gets anxious and nervous. We have talked seriously about getting married and I’ve compromised to let the dog stay outside most of the time when we get married. But she is not willing to bend a bit. She said that she wouldn’t even like my dog sitting in my lap for 10 minutes in the evening while I watch TV. She says that she is dead set on letting the dog anywhere near the inside of the house. How can I deal with my future wife hating the dog that I love as a child? The dog is housebroken with unbelievable manners. What should I do? I love my dog like a child.
December 16th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Say ‘its me or the dog baby’ Ghost Mutt
December 18th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
This is easy. The dog will be dead by then. Puh!
December 19th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Live in the past. Rustified
December 22nd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
say its her and the dog or no her morgan
December 25th, 2009 at 8:20 am
Choose. The dog or the fiance/wife. νí®τǘø§ ωǿмåņ
December 27th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Marry the dog, and build the wife a doghouse!! bsassy
December 28th, 2009 at 5:43 am
I say ditch the bitch. Raylyn
December 28th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Honestly, I’d say rethink marriage. Is someone that is this rigid and controlling really someone you want to spend the next 20-80 years with? Someone you want to raise children with?
Keep the dog, lose the b*tch. ntm
December 29th, 2009 at 2:36 am
You will have to get rid of onel of them, you can’t live with hate in the house. billy
December 30th, 2009 at 5:24 am
You need to put your foot down and let her know this dog is important to you. Marriage is about compromise. You already made an effort by letting the dog outside most of the time so she needs to meet you half way. Jessi
December 30th, 2009 at 10:14 am
well your choice is dog will stay or your wife Jordan B
December 30th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
You answered your own question. “I love my dog like a child.” What would you do if she didn’t like your child and wouldn’t let it on your lap for 10 minutes? If she loves you enough, she’ll deal with the dog. I don’t like dogs either and my husband loves his dog! I would never make him leave her outside. (even though she stinks BAD) Heidi K
January 3rd, 2010 at 1:48 am
That is rough. I know how guys are about their dogs. My Dad has a dog and he would toss a woman out before he would the dog, I’m serious.
So, you need to stand your ground, a dog is a Man’s best friend, and she should respect that. republicanbabe23
January 4th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
If she can’t learn to accept something you love, not like it, not care about it, accept it, I think that’s an indication that you two should not get married. Imagine all the other things you’ll have to give in to once you’re combined your lives. It’s not about the dog, it’s about control, and you’re losing. smartsassysabrina
January 5th, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Tell her you’ll get rid of your dog if she gets rid of her mother amziex
January 6th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
Yikes, if she is that demanding, and pushy NOW, and if she is so intolerant of what you want and feel.. You should reconsider marrying her.. You are going to be one sorry fella once you get married if you allow this to happen.. She’ll have you neutered before the honeymoon is over! DP
January 9th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
You should explain to her how important the dog is to you. You can get an electric fence to let the dog roam around outside. She should be willing to compromise, as long as the dog doesn’t get too close to her she should be willing to deal with it. If she really loves you a dog shouldn’t ruin it. jennamarieexo
January 10th, 2010 at 9:40 am
It is clear your future wife is asking you to make a choice. So make one. And don’t look back with regrets either way. (Personally, I’d keep the dog. Sounds like she makes fewer unreasonable demands.) lfh1213
January 11th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
She has to compromise, and understand that marriage is accepting ALL of who you are, including your unconditional love for the dog. If you get rid of the dog, you wont soon forgive yourself for it, and lets face it, you may end up blaming her for it in the future kenneth m
January 11th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
No no no!!! In today’s world marriages come and go but dog’s are forever. If she can’t love you and your dog then she doesn’t truly love you and it wouldn’t have worked anyway.
My boyfriend hates dog- I am renting from him- he let me get my dog from the local shelter and now begs him for kisses and to come cuddle. There’s someone who really cares for me- so much he’ll put aside his dislike of dogs.
This woman isn’t the one for you- your dog will love you unconditionally forever- she obviously won’t. darlyngirl1982
January 13th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Tell your wife that the dog is apart of your life and if she hats your dog then she hates part of you. You adopted your dog because you loved it. You shouldn’t give away your dog or change the rules by making your dog stay outside because that’s mean. A dog is supposed to be with the family and loved. Al May
January 15th, 2010 at 7:59 am
That is a tough decision. I love my dog as a child as well, and if it came down to it, I would not get married and keep the dog. You need to tell her that the dog is NOT going to be an outside dog. Can you imagine the trauma to the dog if you all of a sudden put her outside all the time. Seriously, you need to have a sit down talk with your future wife and tell her your side of it, maybe ya’ll can work something out where you crate train the dog and the dog can be loose around the house while she isn’t home and then put the dog in the crate when she is home. convince your future wife to go have a girls day once or twice a week, that will give you time with your baby. I hope I could help! Good luck! baby_7991
January 17th, 2010 at 12:45 am
Sounds to me like you and your girl need to have a serious talk. I don’t think someone who loved you would expect you to give up your pet. Also sounds to me like this will be the last dog you ever have if you marry this girl….what else is she going to expect you give up to be with her? I mean, you could choose the girl over the dog…that would prove your love to her, but…will you really be happy? It’s not like it’s a dangerous or bad habit she’s asking you to curb here. I know this isn’t your question…but I think you really need to consider if this is the kind of woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. If so, I guess you have to choose her or the dog. Good Luck. getrd2go
January 20th, 2010 at 3:41 am
Get a new future wife. Faith D
January 21st, 2010 at 1:38 am
Personally I’d find another woman. She sounds like a controlling, selfish woman and quite frankly very unwilling to bend to please you in any way. Just think, If she knows how important the dog is to you she would make every effort to not only get to know the dog but accept it. Can you really live with your dog living outside? Those breeds are not meant to be an outside dog at all.
You do what you want but there are plenty of other good nice dog loving women out there. She’s not one of them. Goldengal
January 22nd, 2010 at 5:18 pm
don’t get rid of your dog
if she isn’t allergic to her/him
and isn’t scared of her/him
than what is her problem?
find out
and in marriage you have to make sacrifices and changes for eachother
on her part she should learn to except your dog
i mean think about it
if you marry her it is her dog too Zoey R.
January 22nd, 2010 at 9:50 pm
I totally understand you when you say you love her like a child. I love my dog that way, too. To be honest, I wonder what kind of person she really is if (a) she hates dogs (b) she disregards how much you love your dog and (c) she won’t even compromise a little bit on a solution to having your dog around sometimes. This all sounds really bad. At the very least, you’d think your wife would care about how much you love the dog and allow you to have her with you just because she wants you to be happy. I think your future wife should at least allow you to have the dog inside when you are home to take care of her. Do you really want to kick your faithful pooch out and make her live outside? I know it sounds crazy, but I’d rethink this relationship. It doesn’t sound like she’s respecting your feelings. Your dog was there before her, and believe me, your dog would never get rid of YOU for anyone else. Bambi
January 25th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
Get rid of the future wife. You say you love the dog like a child, if this were your child would you even consider getting rid of the child? Then why get rid of the dog? If she can’t compromise on something that is so important to you and means so much to you, what else will she not be willing to compromise on?? Sounds too controlling. alis_n_1derland
January 28th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Your dog was there first and is not asking you to keep this gal outside if you marry her - why would you want to have a wife who is, in your own words, unbending?
She does not sound like a very warm or caring person and certainly can’t love you very much if she is putting you in this horrible position - her or the dog????
Reconsider this relationship seriously, not just because you love your dog - and you should, dogs are not disposable like objects. You sound as if you will be doing all the compromising if you hook up permanently with this gal. She is self-centered, heartless, and needs to grow out of herself.
Don’t do it - find someone with a heart who loves you and those you love.
Good luck - not easy for you, but believe me, I have been there and the more I compromised and tried to please the other person, the more demands I got. Finally said, bye=bye and found someone who cared about me as much as himself, accepted my animals, and loves them for my sake. That’s the only relationship worth having. rescue member
January 30th, 2010 at 7:50 am
I think you should keep the dog and she has to accept the fact as the dog has been living with you for 4 years. The dog is like a family member to you. Moreover, you have compromised by letting the dog stay outside after the marriage.
If you were to send the dog away, you are admitting “defeat” and she would always want to have her say in everything after the marriage and that can be hell. FaiRYwINgs
January 30th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
if you have a strong bond with your dog than i say that you should talk it over with your fiance and let her know that you have a strong bond with your dog and if she has a problem with it then she must not really want to be with you so tell her if she has a problem with it then that’s her problem. either she can except that you have a dog or she just has a problem with it her whole life or until………………….. whenever Shazmine W
February 2nd, 2010 at 6:30 am
Your future wife sounds a bit controlling. CutieFoxie
February 4th, 2010 at 11:35 am
Oh, be wise. This is a major red flag that shows she is not the right woman for you.
Here are the reasons:
1. She doesn’t care how you feel about your dog. Even if she doesn’t like dogs, she should consider–and care about–the fact that you really love your dog.
2. She is unwilling to compromise. A happy marriage takes major compromise. If she won’t compromise now, believe me, she will only get worse later. A lot worse.
3. She doesn’t like animals. Sure, some women might be afraid of animals. Some don’t have much experience with them so they aren’t warm and fuzzy about them. But for someone to HATE animals? Especially dogs who are loving and loyal? How can a person HATE a dog? Did she have a bad experience with a dog? If not, she is just a self-centered person. Shallow. Uncaring.
Please, please beware. Save yourself a lot of heartache over a selfish woman.
If you love your dog like a child, you must find a woman who will do the same. Dump the girl. Thank your dog for saving you a lot of trouble by showing you the unpleasant side of this woman. I am very serious about this. I’m not an animal fanatic or a young idealist. I have lots of experience with marriages.
It is a good idea to let your pooch help pick your mate. Animals are very empathetic.
Good luck. hope03
February 7th, 2010 at 11:20 am
I will tell you from personal experience… Keep the dog… get rid of the fiance.
Noone will ever love you as unconditionally as your dog will.
Any person who can claim to love someone and then not be at least accepting of something as beloved as a pet is not worth your regard.
I wish I could express myself better… but if the relationship is coming to “its me or the dog” there is something intrinsically WRONG that has nothing to do with the dog. animal_artwork
February 8th, 2010 at 2:30 am
I don’t see a silver lining here. This is just the beginning and your happiness is at stake, it really is. The dog is your family now. If she can’t accept that as is, it’s a good thing you are not married yet! Don’t make your dog live outside. Anxious and nervous is fear, not dislike. I would run the other way, with your dog in tow. ibbibud
February 8th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
ur future wife sound very bossy. Marriage is a give and take situation. I don’t think u should give up ur dog..whats gonna be next? I have 4 dogs they are my children as i dont have any kids. U need to sit down and talk to her make a stand but im not sure i could leave my dogs out all the time like u have stated. Pres
February 11th, 2010 at 1:34 am
As a dog lover, I’d say, don’t marry her. You own a dog before you met her. She knows about the dog, yet she still going out with you. Anyway, it is up to you. If you love her more the your dog. Then you just have to have her way.
My husband was terrified of dog before he meet me. I had dog my whole life. He start to learned to love dog. Now, my dog loves him more than me. Kiki
February 13th, 2010 at 12:19 am
i really dont know waht to tell you. it looks like you are gonna ned to choose between your wife or your dog. i cant believe she is doing that too you. how can you not like dogs?..but she needs to compromise with you, she cant just expect you to get rid of the dog just cuz she is in your life know as well. have u ever thought about the idea, that maybe she is jelous of the dog? i know it sounds weird, but do u think that could be the reason why she basically wants u to get rid of teh dog? des777
February 13th, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Ooo! tough situation.
Dog was here first. I am sorry, but if she really loves you then she would understand how much your dog means to you. pony
February 14th, 2010 at 3:11 am
honestly, dumb the woman. any woman who would take something you obviously love so much and have taken such great care of and brings you great happiness is not someone you want to spend your life with. what is next? she doesn’t like your car? your friends, family, job, etc………? i know it sounds harsh but she sounds like a well you know…..if you take that little dog that has been nothing but loyal and loving to you and stick it outside for someone who is not loving toward you or she would compromise and deal with the dog. you are no better than her. when i met my husband and we moved in together and with my 2 big dogs i simply told him the dogs were here before you and will be here after you. i’m not saying put your pets above loved ones, but geesh what you’re describing is awful. i don’t really care that much for my husbands dog, and only because she was ill mannered and not trainined at all when i met him. and never have i asked him to even put her outside, get rid of her, or change any of her living arrangements. all i wanted was her to have some manners. seems like your dog already has that area covered. there’s too many good women out there that aren’t self centered enough to make a guy get rid of his best friend. what is this was an actual child, would you be asking the same question? i would hope not. tell her the dog was there before her and will be after. cagney
February 16th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
My suggestion is get rid of the future wife.Dog is man’s best friend. Help
February 19th, 2010 at 1:45 am
I have two ex-wives, each decided they didn’t like my dogs.
So think this over, your dog is willing to adapt to your adding a new fixture to your lifestyle, yet this new fixture is un-willing to adapt to your most loyal companion. ‘Nuff said. koehlerdogtraining
February 21st, 2010 at 12:21 pm
I may be a bit biased being a complete dog person/lover…but I’d be thinking twice about marrying someone who is so rigid about my dog.
She claims not to be afraid of dogs, yet is forcing you to plan on banishing your beloved pet outdoors isolated from the only home he’s known if you want to marry her.
Which really indicates that she has no consideration of how you feel about your pet or about whats best for your pet. I’d hate to see how she’d act if you had a human kid, not a dog.
You’re going to make whatever decision you are, but someone who REALLY loves you is going to love anything/anyone you love and support you even if its not always ‘comfortable’. Your dog is only going to be around for
@15 yrs(another 10 if you’re lucky). She’s as your wife is supposed to be in for your lifetime. You’d think she’d be more understanding and less demanding. If she’s this demanding now, I hate to see where those demands go later.
But if you decide to stay with her, it would be more humane to find your dog a home that will love and cherish it like it deserves not
abandon it in a yard for a relationship. Your dog was raised as an indoor dog, and will not understand nor likely do well suddenly as a outdoor dog.
best of luck, Tazzy
February 22nd, 2010 at 5:36 am
As a newlywed one thing I have to tell you is that marriage is about compromise. And she is not compromising. If she truly loved you and respected your wishes she would understand how much the dog means to you. If she doesn’t respect you on this level what is she going to do in the future? She is probably a great person, but maybe she needs to examine her priorities. Does she love you more than she hates dogs?
Honestly, I don’t know how “dog people” and “non-dog people” get along. There are such differences in the basic personalities of the two.
You guys need to have a serious conversation. She needs to decide if she loves you enough to deal with what sounds like a very tolerable animal. And you have to realize that if you marry this woman she has to feel more loved than the dog. Let her know that the dog will not encroach on her “territory”.
You also need to explain that it is not recommended for Doxies to be outdoors animals. They are very temperature sensitive. They are also amazingly loyal and sweet animals.
Ultimately you have to decide whether or not this is a “deal breaker”. For me, it would be.
Good luck! Mrs Ward
February 24th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
Choose the dog! mika
February 28th, 2010 at 3:37 am
If she really loves you, she should be willing to at least compromise, especially when it’s something that’s so important to you. You should seriously reconsider marriage to this woman. Peekablue
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:35 am
I married someone with different feeling towards dogs then myself. He’s gone the dog’s still here!!!!!!!!!! gsdmix
March 6th, 2010 at 4:29 am
try getting another wife lol steve
March 9th, 2010 at 6:34 am
Well are you prepared to get rid of your dog? Are you prepared for a life with no dog? Because that is what is going to happen.
When I was choosing who to be with one of my requirements was they have to LOVE dogs (and all animals) as much as I do because I KNOW I have to have dogs in my life. So when I dated a guy who disliked my dog I just did not date him again.. simple as that.
I will warn you if you choose the woman over the dog you will end up resenting her terribly because you had to give away your dog. Even if she lets you keep the dog but forces you to have it outside is that going to make you happy?? Me I would be miserable with worry and sadness. Are you really going to let your dog stay outside summer and winter because your wife won’t let it inside? A Dachshund is a smaller dog and won’t fair well in extreme weather (hot or cold).
Honestly if it were me I would end the relationship because I know I could not live with myself if I did that to my dog. Find someone who has a love of animals like you do. mairin
March 10th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
screw her keep the dog sean t